Is My Man Cheating - Why Do Men Lie About Infidelity?

September 1, 2008

People use lie for many reasons and often for their own protection. This behavior can destroy someone’s personality and moral norms, and moreover, this way is a slippery one due to the fact that people might lose their ability to distinguish the truth from the lie told.

King of Lies

Dr. Higgins has wrote in his book “My Fair Lady” about men qualities: they are eternally noble, thoroughly square and historically fair. His question was why women can’t act more like men?

From 1956, men had to retreat from extending such virtue, especially since they transformed lying into a common form in nowadays society.

Is has been recently shown that men lie about infidelity due to repressive trials during their childhood, and may of them continue behaving as then, assuming that they are someone they are not. Thus, when a possible affair comes in their way, a slightly change in this “game” shows up and soon a philander is born.

How to Lie?

Although some men lie because they do not have the courage to admit their deeds and the fact that they betrayed their partners or are too afraid about the possible consequences, some lie about cheating because they do not want to ruin their own reputation. Don’t be displeased if this is your case, because in time people change their behavior so that they can justify themselves.

This phenomenon is called cognitive dissonance and Dr. Leon Festinger has studied it, discovering that it occurs when a men forgets about the boundaries that a relationship involves.

Selfishness might be one reason for lying, but also continuous infidelity considered as a normal conduct might be another reason. Nevertheless, if children are involved, the husband will do his best to maintain his image in his children’s eye and even resort to more lies if necessary.

As long as a man feels that his self esteem is in danger, he soon begins to lie, and even if some lies have a good meaning that offers protection for the man and also those around him, some lies are dangerous from the first moment they appear and reveal on the surface the shortcomings of our society which is built on honesty and trust.

Sometimes, when an affair is discovered and has been found out by others, the man finds himself ignored by those around him, an attitude that obviously makes him to go on with his fraud. When lies are hidden for a long time and continuously created, the situation may evolve into a tangled and puzzled fabrication that soon will have its own life. Then, the truth is hard or too late to be disclosed because the lies chain will disappoint and hurt a lot of people.

In order to handle all this charade before it gets out of your hands, you must be alert and identify any change in conduct, verbal or nonverbal attitudes that might determine your partner to lie. His confession might stagger or he may share a vehement inability to tolerate lie. Plus, the impossibility of eye contact or arms crossed when discussing, shows that he might suffer from anxiety, an usual symptom of telling lies.

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Is My Man Cheating - Changes in Appearance For Cheating Men

August 29, 2008

He certainly is cheating:

There are many poems that reveal the feelings of a broken hearted victim and the most eloquent story is of Narcissus from the Greek Mythology

Narcissus rejected the affection of those who loved him and one of his victims prayed for him to fall in love and never receive back love, as a way of retribution. What interesting is that the tale emphasizes on his insensitivity towards other people, and his unaware self lenience irregardless of others’ feelings.

As a reply the prayer, when looking into a swamp of water, he suddenly falls in love with his reflection. Longing to embrace it, the reflection soon fades away as a flower.

For the rejected victim, his kind an end would be a reassuring one, and in this moment exist three people who would like to see someone suffer, and their joy would be complete if someone would fade away, maybe into a kind of foliage or eaten alive.

The male peacock stirs up his feathers so that he courts his possible mate, and surprisingly the female replies in the same way. Generally, this rule is also valid in the case of men infidelity: if his clothes, personal hygiene and accuracy seem to alter. When observing the absence of the wedding ring or lipstick marks on his collar, you must be aware because this are also signs of cheating.

When infidelity exists, it is noticeable if the husband looks for a new haircut, renewing its wardrobe in order to create a new attitude suited for a new affair.

When asking “Is my husband cheating?”, some problems gave occurred and it is required a special sense, a sixth sense that allows women to intuit her husband deeds and this feeling is valid. A closer look will soon disclose changes in style, manner and behavior and possible nervousness, that will confirm or call off doubts.

He might be Faithful

It is true,a drastic change in appearance may be determined by infidelity, but there are also other reasons besides betrayal.

Someone’s look might change due to vanity, but also envy which nowadays it is directly related with the each person’s physical aspect, youth, beauty and strength.

Modern democracy encourages the belief that everyone is capable to fallow and accomplish own dreams through personal transformation and rebirth of ourselves. Since a long time ago it has been shown that physical appearance is directly linked and influences moral worth, both internally and externally, as in the fairy tales of Cinderella or the Ugly Duckling.

Finally, in the 20th century the Viennesse psychologist Alfred Adler has brought precious evidence regarding the connection between physical appearance and mental health, a harmony that must be maintained so that our self esteem and ego to be at a normal level.

If your man is possesses this attitude and behavior, it does not mean that he is positively cheating, but suffering from a condition that most people do, and you must try to help him retrieve his personal identity and recover his place in this world .

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Signs of Cheating Men - How to Notice a Cheating Husband

August 27, 2008

Marriage Equality

The anonymous Hebrew proverb “At home, the husband is the master and the wife is out of doors” wishes to recall the victim of a betrayal about the marriage rights: equality of the parties involved in the contract.

Research work shows that in the past, families were linked in a kindred, in order to save resources in a period facing food scarcity, but nowadays a relationship implies the existence of a more formal importance. Law defines the marriage contract as being a contract between a husband and a wife, who both have rights and duties and are must offer to each other support.

When your husband is practicing infidelity, besides committing a pitiable act of emotional deceit, it is an obvious violation of his obligations and an offense towards you. On account of marriage as a legal contract, infidelity is considered a suitable reason for the contract’s dissolution.

When infidelity arises in a marriage, it has nothing to do with the wife not providing her spouse a suited sexual relationship. Men cheat for many reasons, and although any of them is unacceptable, often it is discovered that they suffer from emotional deficits and they consider infidelity as solution. On the other hand, victims might suffer from low self esteem because in time, a relationship evolves and if the partners are not as talkative as before, this feeling may become visible. Every men cheats for a different purpose, but frequently they all cheat to satisfy the need for sex,to feed his ego and suddenly changes this past and future.

Be aware

If there has been noticed a instability in your sexual activity and relationship, or if your husband has spent a lot of time away from home, then these could be signs for a cheating husband.

If the doesn’t answer your calls in time or mobile phone bill has severely increased, you should make some investigation and find out the reasons for all these changes, and this might be a good solution to catch a likely cheating husband.

Other signs for infidelity may include the sharp unexpected use of a phone card, the existence of a new email address or an unusual increase of the mileage on his car. The lack of courtesy as not opening the car door or a nice talk in the evenings, are signs that you husband might be passing a weak period, favorable for infidelity to arise in your home. When men begin to take marriage for granted, they assume that any kind of behavior must be tolerated by the spouse. In this case, this attitude may also be a sign of cheating.

It is difficult and takes skills to catch an unfaithful husband. After the wife’s trust is crushed, it is more difficult to bear the husband saying that he doesn’t know what his feelings are or that he requires time on his own in order to clear up his mind.

The cheated partner must strengthen the fact that from the law’s point of view, marriage is a legal contract that implies equality between parties and both have right and duties towards each other. Without making any cultural judgement, there must not be accepted anything less because it will lead to the old times legislation, a regression to the institutional crime.

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Signs of Cheating Men - Infidelity Committed by Politicians

August 26, 2008

The Origin of Infidelity

History is full of stories about politicians infidelity acts and disloyal behavior.

Napoleon Bonaparte, history’s most famous and known son, stated his truth : he compared power with love , as his mistress, and stated that he would never let anyone conquer it because he has struggled too much so that someone to come and take it away or strive it.

Furthermore, the same belief was supported by another legend, around 300 years ago by King Henry VIII of England, during the 15th century.

A strong, smart and determined young men, gifted with a feature that guided him towards power and ambition, Henry changed history when by using his skills he succeeded in handling the British Parliament and forced it to exclude the Catholic Church and its learnings. He took control over England’s Church leadership and his major goal was to annul his marriage with Catherine of Aragon to be able to continue his relationship with Anne Boleyn.

Although late-day politics is plentiful with infidelity cases, male ego is critical in the political world as in any other areas. A politician having a courtship behavior may suffer and have a flail ego, and striving for strengthen their reserves. Still, he might suffer from a feeling of entitlement, therefore having a sensation of immunity from societal perspective, and due to the fact that he experiences excitement he indirectly justifies his deeds, while appreciating his status and talent to engage in this depravation.

Common People

When politicians are dealing with infidelity, distinct from the ordinary unfaithful man class, the future does directly affect his children and family by rapidly spreading the consequences of his adultery. The politician’s wife

is also in the highlights, and when she is supporting the actions of her husband it is a clear proof of their healthy relationship, but when dealing with misunderstanding their relationship begins to deteriorate in peoples’ eyes, thus the family and their status have to suffer. That is why, a healthy relationship must be kept in order withstand public disgrace.

Although they belong to a different social class, politicians act in the same way as any other men, committing and handling infidelity in the same way. The only visible difference is that they are given significant attention.

The Clintons Case

It has been shown that due to the burdensome duties as a U.S. President, the couple Mr. and Mrs Bill Clinton spent together merely 14 days every month. Obviously, both partners have closely related interests and have ambitious perspectives, but in their case, on account of Mrs. Clinton aspiration for fallowing a legal career the absence of marital contact has been perpetuated by her.

Nevertheless, today they still are together.

Having to face its disgrace, Mr. Clinton has submissively supported his wife to fulfill her political aspirations.

It has been encouraged the attitude that a public man needs to be carefully supported by his wife, so that he uses this skills and abilities at a maximum level and performs his duties accordingly. But, in the case of infidelity, both partners are blamed by the public and this reaction does not take into a fact that both of them are ordinary persons forced to handle extraordinary situations, and they do not possess additional skills when put face to face with infidelity.

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Is My Man Cheating - Is Confessing the Right Solution?

August 26, 2008

Recognition: Did it or not?

For a man, it’s easy to tell the lies that himself believes, but definitely harder to have the power and ability to assert the truth, which points out why just 16% of men recognize their affairs to their partner.

Provided that human beings forecast a possible danger, they prepare themselves to face it properly, and usually unfaithful men oversee two alternatives: wether to lie and in the same time confuse their partner by defusing her grief, or confess the painful truth which involves heavier consequences.

Still, having in mind the victim’s well being, she should let things go their own way, be patient and listen what the partner has to confess, without interposing in his avowal. There are also disadvantages when confessing the truth: the victim is obviously harmed by infidelity, but too much information might harm her and drive her mind crazy and full of agony. Often, the impact is so deep that some victims suffer memory traumas.

Adding lies

It is fair that when betrayal is involved, the healing process must begin by a sincere and honest confession made by the cheating person towards its spouse. Some people consider that it is much better to admit their sins, rather than being caught glaring. Still, it is advisable to make a righteous confession and from the bottom of the heart, because a selfish confession is quickly detected. Due to the fact that a confession implies emotional weight and the relationship’s future depends on it, it must be frank and thoroughly explained.

As strange as it might seem, in order to avoid a future possible deception there are heavy reasons to spare the cheated victim of disloyalty, especially if the deeds were committed for a long period of time. This situation is understandable, because as human beings we have our own emotional and physical limits that cannot be lengthen endlessly.

Of course, a fair appraisal and honest discussion regarding the relationship must be held, but if after it the victim is still uninformed , then it seems that there is no point to continue and the victim must not be puzzled for this kind of discussion. The relationship needs a healthy airing that might be fulfilled without this.

But, when the unfaithful partner is prepared and willing to open up and discuss about his deeds, this decision might straighten out their problems and create a new direction for the couple to fallow.

Forgiveness

Surprisingly, around 16% of women think that they would forgive their partner for a one night relationship. This fact is a clear evidence that it is much better to confess when cheating as soon as possible, without allowing it to strike roots or by keeping it secret to affect the loved ones even harder. Finally, people have the power and ability to discuss, listen and forgive one another, and truly embrace each other’s drawbacks. Obviously, when cheating, the husband must clearly be honest and avoid any more lies, because in this moment holding something back will make the spouse even more vulnerable.

It takes efforts and courage when being involved in a relationship, but when put in a situation as infidelity, the real involvement is proved by the choice made: either to confess it immediately, either to keep it secret from your partner and transform it into a possible relationship breaker.

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Catch a Man Cheating - Infidelity and Law Regulations For Unfaithful Men

August 11, 2008

Infidelity History from Law perspective In Ancient Rome, the traditional price paid for infidelity was stoning to death, but in comparison with two thousand years ago, today’s society has developed along with time passing. The general definition states that infidelity is an infringement of trust or a contract invasion, and this is interpreted as a community offense since 1660 when the Common Law has enforced the introduction of a trust relied law.

When emerges from a marriage , infidelity involves at least a breach of duty towards the partner and the relationship itself. The feelings,love, passion and time involved in a marriage are broken into pieces and the couple’s future doesn’t look very bright. Even if nowadays the sentence for cheating does not involve death, it still carries seriousness, responsibility and its effects must not be denied by the society.

Irremediable Breakdown In essence, the marriage institution has the power to enforce the law and therefore, provides the origin of what is now known as “adultery”. Adultery implies the cohabitation or sexual relationship of a married person with another person than the life partner. Recently, this notion has ceased to represent the first legal cause for a marriage dissolution contract, making room for “irretrievable breakdown”- a wider without fault notion, and adultery is just one part of it.

Evidence for irremediable breakdown is the couples’ separation, for a longer period of time, customarily more than a year, but if adultery causes separation then divorce is compliant. But, if partners have attempted to solve their misunderstandings due to a fallowing infidelity action, adultery is unenforceable.

Location Having in mind that a marriage contract compels support from both parties, in case of marriage contract dissolution, it must assure that equity is practiced through the division of all assets. By this time, the obligations in the contract are no longer valid, assets are to be divided equally and in order to avoid injustice, regard is taken into consideration. Children are given a special degree of significance and ceaseless support from both parts towards them is settled by the court. They must neither suffer from their parents separation, nor judge their decisions. Commonly, in case of an unmarried couple, the financial protection offered for a separation event is lower. The court acknowledges the holiness of a marriage contract as compared to other valid contracts but which lack in formality.

Love or Fortune When considering a marriage contract and cohabitation there are many financial advantages or disadvantages involved. Due to the fact that the financial assets divided are gathered throughout the marriage, unexpected fortunes might pop up. A long time ago, financial situation was a priority higher than true love, but today, wealth can be seriously affected by an undesired marriage or marrying with the mistaken person. On account of 74% of men that think they would practice infidelity if they would not get caught, looking from a legal point of view, it is cautious to find and know more about those you are going to start a relationship with.

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Is My Man Cheating - Reporting Unfaithful Men

August 6, 2008

Whenever you receive an anonymous call from a woman, don’t panic because most probably this a way to psychologically make you doubt your husband and let uncertainty interpose between your husband and you.

Report on the Web Besides using the Web for such subversive reasons, the primary goal when using it reporting cheating men is to apprize men from continuing cheating and avoiding this situation to become harder. This method is also used to stop them hurting other people that might get involved in the meantime. Having in mind the effectiveness of the internet regarding the circulation of information, the suggested choices for reporting unfaithful men are the various websites at your disposal that offer women the possibility to reveal someone’s dating history, and ensure that they do not get involved with a men that has an unexpected track record.

The rapid growth in online dating methods has a high risk degree considering the man, and effective reporting practices show these rascals, and try to avert innocent persons from suffering disappointments and disillusionment. Most powerful and up-to-date search engines are designed to search and gather valuable information about each cheating individual. There are many unfaithful men who are used to provide or create false identities, thus women have the possibility to offer minute information about them is case of cheating.

After the completion of registration process, the deceived one can place a picture and build the cheating man’s profile, who is going to be identified by name and city. After men have completed the registration steps, they can choose to quit and be removed from the website in exchange for a small fee used for charity purposes. This kind of sites are known as public service and offer protection within the dating circle.

Women seeking for revenge after cases of cheating and betrayal are customary. Plus, the websites stated above place victims one step forward and allow them to ease their frustration. The website “womansavers.com” it is known as being the largest database containing information about 25.000 cheating men,caught and reported by their victims. The Legal Matter Looking on a larger scale, the internet can provide information about almost any reasonable topic, and not all of it has authoritative basis. Research shows that some women kept back their true identities when gave an account of cheating men and many of those accused threatened to sue. In this case, a rough slander problem occurs, and the accused person must prove that the declaration made is true.

Finally, when reporting cheating men there are also other alternatives, and although many considered that it was a personal issue to require intimate address and possible remission, the common consensus supposed that men should be discredit in public, and the victim had then the possibility to start a new life and try to forget about the disappointment suffered. One proposal even stated to change the parenting rights, but the overall opinion favored the first alternative, to supply information to possible victims.

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How to Win Your Spouse Back After You’ve Cheated

August 6, 2008

As you probably already know, if you’ve cheated on your spouse and are hoping to win both them and their trust back, you’re going to be traveling on a long, long road with plenty of patience needed on both of your parts if you want to reach the end together. If the love is still there, and you’re both committed to making it work, it can be possible to repair the damage that’s been done to your marriage and emerge stronger and closer as a couple.

The Apology

The first, and most obvious step to attempt to win your spouse back after you’ve broken your vows has to be the apology. A sincere, heartfelt apology that goes far beyond merely saying, “I’m sorry,” although that’s an awfully good place to start, is an absolute must. If you think walking around with a chip on your shoulder is going to do any good at trying to win them back, you’re in for a rude awakening as more than likely you’ll be pushing them in the opposite direction.

The Straight and Narrow

If you’re at all serious about getting your spouse back and saving your marriage, it’s time to be honest with yourself and figure out whether or not you’re going to be able to walk the straight and narrow from here on out, otherwise, there’s really no point in prolonging the inevitable, or hurting your spouse even more. Examine why you cheated in the first place and if you are now prepared to put your spouse’s feelings before your own, which is how it should be in the first place.

Just Listen

Once all of the apologies have been said and done, there are going to be many times when your husband or wife simply needs to vent, or just to let their feelings be heard. Don’t feel as if you have to defend yourself repeatedly, as doing so usually causes anger to build as one spouse takes the offense while the other is busy defending themselves instead of both coming together and discussing the problem like a team, like spouses, like friends, and like lovers.

Changing for the Better

Changing for the better after cheating on your spouse means several things, the first of which we already discussed, which is being honest and making a promise to both yourself, and to them, to never cheat or be unfaithful again, but it also means making little changes as well. Could you help out more around the house? Spend more time doing things together? When was the last time the two of you went on a date?

Seek Counseling

Promising, and then following through with that promise, to seek professional marriage counseling may be yet another way to prove you’re serious about your commitment to your relationship. A therapist or counselor can help you both to get to the root of your feelings, learn how to communicate them better to each other, and explore the ramifications of the affair and how to get past all of that, focusing on the bright future instead.

If you

Tips For Dealing With The Pain Of A Cheating Spouse

August 5, 2008

While there’s no doubt dealing with the pain of a cheating spouse is unlike quite no other, you don’t have to live the life of a victim, and although it may not seem like it right now, there are steps you can take to make the best of out this horrible situation. Whether you decide to leave your spouse, file for divorce, or stay and work things out is really up to you as after all, you’re the one this is happening to and you’re the one who has to live with your decision.

But, hopefully, some of the following tips will help you to make up your mind during this trying time and get you on your way to healing and emerging a better person for it.

- Face Reality: Ignoring the obvious certainly won’t make things any better, in fact, the longer you go without acknowledging the truth, all the more painful it will be when you finally have no choice but to do so.

- Evaluate Your Situation: During a moment of complete clarity and clear headedness, honestly evaluate your situation in terms of not only your finances, but also to decide if your marriage is really worth saving or not.

- Get a Makeover or Buy a New Wardrobe: You’d be surprised at what a new haircut, new makeup, or a new wardrobe can do for your self esteem as well as for your mood overall. Lose a few pounds, join the gym, redecorate the house, or take a vacation. Whatever changes you make, just be sure they’re really for you and no one else!

- Join a Support Group: Consider joining a support group, online or off, or seek counseling from a professional in order to work through your feelings of betrayal and anger. Don’t try to handle this all on your own, but if you need time to be alone, by all means do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better.

- Reach Out to Friends and Family: Build a reliable team of support with friends and family who are willing to listen and offer advice if you’re interested or in need.

- See a Doctor: If you know that your spouse has been unfaithful, it’s imperative to make an appointment with your doctor, have an examination and be tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). There’s no need to be embarrassed as you haven’t done anything wrong and are merely protecting yourself and your health, both of which are to be commended. Being a victim of infidelity is bad enough, don’t allow yourself to become a victim of an STD as well.

- Take Control: Just because you’re the injured party in this dreadful situation doesn’t mean you can’t take control of the entire thing. Tell your spouse you know what’s going on, and, depending on what you’ve decided, you let them know what’s going to happen next, not the other way around.

Remember, you’re certainly not alone in this, and regardless of how it may feel today, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Is your spouse cheating or do you suspect that they

Catch a Man Cheating - What Do Wedded Men Feel Like After Cheating?

August 4, 2008

Crushing man pride

Brit Ekland one time stated that she had never slept with married men, but in the sense that she never did it never with happily married men.

At first glance, it is compliant that men feel quite good after cheating.

In time, on account of marriage compliance and monotony, it has been shown that men feel trapped, consider that their wives can’t understand them, and therefore suffer from this situation. After cheating, men have a strange sense of relief combined with welfare, and its essence cannot be denied.

Furthermore, men are drawn by passion and after wedded men have taken a false step, it’s interesting that although many admit that infidelity is bad, many of them still practice it. They apologies a lot, but sustain that they can hardly master the psychological hunger for sex and among those who do it again it is a way to maintain their ego.

Men feel strong and their masculinity becomes visible when they are near a women and have the chance to take care of such sensitive,tender and obedient persons as them. When cheating, men often feel neglected and are misled by the delusion that their wives do not fully comprehend them and do not offer the respect they need.

Unhappily, after cheating, the husband finds himself without any drop of respect or dignity and moreover, he realizes that the respect he had was bounded to his wife, not to a secret woman with no sense of commitment. It is important to keep in mind that when we assume responsibility, we have to be careful because our freedom is in stake.

Remorse feelings

An important aspect is that after marriage, men become much more accustomed with women around them, and represent an attraction towards the opposite sex. In these circumstances, the unfaithful husband holds that he never intended to leave his wife, but wanted to get involved in an handy affair to satisfy his needs. Most women dealing with married men relationships disclosed the main reason for which they ended it was their marriage; it reminded men about their mistakes and because they were not willing to leave their wives, the relationships had no future.

Of course, there are men who strongly believe that they can offer unconditionally love to their wives and still have sex with other women, without no hard feelings; in their opinion the relationship is just a physical one, without any emotional behavior being involved . On account of men powerlessness to offer integrity, married man who cheat feel that they never abandoned their loved ones, just involved in an unimportant physical affair.

Finally, remorse feelings prove married men that the balance they are looking for lies in their marriage, and this belief is the one requires on order to avoid future mistakes. The unfaithful husband knows that his deed will shade their marriage, always reminding them about his infidelity. And this situation may be improved but it needs a lot of love, commitment and most importantly, trust and fidelity. Obviously, this is a clear proof of the price paid when committing this kind of nonsense. Therefore, it is better to think twice before cheating, and in a marriage it’s crucial the existence of agreement and communication between partners.

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